Thursday, September 22, 2011

Things That Make You Go "Ughhghh"

     How many times has this happened to you? Going about your life you come across a woman, not your average woman, but a caramel queen with gobs of cash hanging like curtails from her last name. Well you decide to get married, and in that binding you receive her riches. Now after marrying her (we'll skip the details for now) you begin to realize that she is completely, utterly, bat-shit crazy. She is off her rocker, gonzo, her proverbial marbles have long since left their satchel. Well, you do what any sensible person in your situation would do, you take the money and run!...then you lock her in an attic, and pretend it never happened. It makes sense! People do this kind of thing every day! Just yesterday I was married to a madwoman! Well being the sensible man I am, I did what had to be done! To the attic she went, toys and all, a burden off my mind to be sure. Honestly, what are problems but things to be pushed to the back of the mind (or, attic) and all but forgotten?

     Well, if you've responded "Just the once!" to're probably a sociopath with some literal skeletons in the closet.'re a man named Rochester. Does it not strike anyone strange that, while people are upset and bewildered that he hid his first marriage in order to marry again, no one is upset that he has imprisoned his wife in an attic? This does not bode well for our dear Jane, because bless her heart, she doesn't seem too upset by that fact either. Now she's furious that he has another wife, but the imprisonment is just an unfortunate barrier that hid that fact. Can we sense a potential pattern forming? What happens if, when Jane grows old, dimensia wraps it's icy fingers around her mind? Assuming Rochester is still alive and cognizant, what could his next step be? I already hear the rusty grinding of a well used lock, and the foreboding clunk of that secret keeping deadbolt. Luckily for Rochester, however, no one seems to mind.

1 comment:

  1. If I were Jane, I'd be watching my back and would refuse to live in a house with an attic;-)